Theology of Toys

1. Capitalism -- He who dies with the most toys, wins.
2. Hari Krishna -- He who plays with the most toys, wins.
3. Judaism -- He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
4. Catholicism -- He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
5. Anglican -- They were our toys first.
6. Greek Orthodox -- No, they were OURS first.
7. Branch Davidians -- He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
8. Atheism -- There is no toy maker.
9. Polytheism -- There are many toy makers.
10. Evolutionism -- The toys made themselves.
11. Church of Christ, Scientist -- We are the toys.
12. Communism -- Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
13. Baha'i Faith -- All toys are just fine with us.
14. Amish -- Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
15. Taoism -- The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
16. Mormonism -- Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
17. Voodoo -- Let me borrow that doll for a second.
18. Hedonism -- Hang the rule book! Let's play!
19. Hinduism -- He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
20. 7th Day Adventist -- He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
21. Church of Christ -- He whose toys make music, loses.
22. Baptist -- Once played, always played.
23. Jehovah's Witnesses -- He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
24. Pentecostalism -- He whose toys can talk, wins.
25. Existentialism -- Toys are a figment of your imagination.
26. Confucianism -- Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
27. Non-denominationalism -- We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
28. Agnosticism -- It is not possible to know whether toys make a darn bit of difference.