Signs of Age

Date: Wednesday, April 05, 2000

1. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
2. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
3. When happy hour is a nap.
4. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
5. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
6. Your address book has mostly names that start with "Dr."
7. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
8. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
9. The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your trifocals.
10. Your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your Metamucil.
11. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
12. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
13. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
14. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.