Senior Citizen

Date: Sat, 12 Jun 1999

(This does not apply to me, yet...)

I'M A Senior Citizen

  1. I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts 'till 8 pm.
  2. I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.
  3. I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.
  4. I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid....
  5. I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go
  6. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up
  7. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying
  8. I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over
  9. I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine
  10. I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care
  11. I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic waiting children, politicians...
  12. I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired
  13. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place
  14. I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg
  15. I'm having trouble remembering simple words like....uh....
  16. I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate
  17. I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies
  18. I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less
  19. I'm going to reveal what goes on behind the green doors...
  20. I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days
  21. I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP
  22. I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
  23. I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory
  24. I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes and raisins
  25. I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the storeroom
  26. I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life
  27. Do I have Alzeimers? I don't remember. But, I'm happy, I think.